Edmonton, Canada Archbishop Richard Smith may have to fork out money from his own diocese to make up the losses facing Catholic schools, community groups and organizations, after he decided to make a moral issue out of gambling. His holiness decided that, effective October, these groups won’t be allowed to accept funds that are generated from gambling sources. Problem is that groups such as Edmonton School Board count desperately on the millions generated by lottery funds. “This funding is critical for our schools,” said Lori Nagy of the Board. So what’s more immoral, Archbishop Smith – to enjoy a spin on the slot machine or to deny thousands of kids with a warm lunch each day when their funding runs out? Food for thought, huh?

In the (holy) spirit of things:

A little girl becomes restless as the sermon’s preacher drags on.. and on.. and on. Finally, she leans over to her mother, pulls on her sleeve and asks: “Mama, if we give him money now, will he let us go?”

Three little boys are bragging in the schoolyard about their fathers’ professions. Boy number one says: “My Dad scribbles a few words on a paper, he calls it a poem, and they pay him $50 for that.”

Boy number two says: “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song and they give him $100.”

Boy number three scoffs: “So what. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of a paper, he calls it a sermon and it takes five people to collect all the money!”